Tag Archives: PEARLS

Pearls: Best Friend Forever!!

This week, for pearls, we touched on relationship management and its derivatives: family, friend and boy-girl relationships. We shared our experiences, philosophy and values system on the above issues and other topics like bouncing back from crisis and NLP memory techniques to bounce back from crisis.

Before I elaborate my definition of friendship, I would like to highlight that there are in fact very diverse opinions of friends. That alone sparked a huge debate of across the table despite the small turn up. I realized despite the differences in opinions, there are a couple areas of contention, namely: what makes one consider another a friend, whether there should be expectation (and if so, to what degree of expectation) and what would be an appropriate response to a betrayal.

Firstly, I do not use the term “friend” lightly and therefore I will admit that throughout my whole life, I have only less than 10 true friends. Friends, according to my first belief, are individuals who have similar core values and to a smaller extent, interests. As a result, we can enjoy doing similar activities together without making each other guilty and at the same time maintain & build our relationship. Therefore, despite different personality traits and opinions, I will enjoy and feel productive spending time with my friend with similar interests like discussing about current affairs.

This stems from my second belief that relationship must be maintain or they will simply deteriorate, however there are certain thresholds generated by common experiences in which will prevent relationships from deteriorating beyond a certain level. Therefore, sharing the same 4 men bunks in the SAF or being together in a project group will bring the individuals relationship to a level whereby, it will not deteriorate too much despite a lack of contact.

Cultural values will affect a society’s different kinds of value range from ideological, moral, social and aesthetics and generating unique personal values. My third belief is that individual when bought together will need similar values or conflict will arise. Therefore, individuals like friends who maintain a close relationship needs to have similar values to prevent daily friction and grievances which will eventually destroy the relationship. My core values are credibility & accountability, individuality & independence, ambitiousness & improvement, equality & integrity and wisdom & knowledge.

My fourth belief about friendship is that my friends’ character will rub off my character subconsciously when I interact with them. Therefore, I am picky to a fault to the friends I plan to develop a relationship with as don’t want to waste both parties’ precious time on relationships that is difficult to maintain or doomed to fail. Therefore, I might appear to people who don’t know me as insincere or even snobbish but I am generally friendly to intermediate group of people who approach me or know me due to similar activities on a daily basis. However, I am very willing to open myself up first if I manage to find potential friends as I understand gems like them are rare and might not be there if the opportunity is lost.

One of my friends then quipped that one important requisite is that friends must help one another which I instantly disagreed. I think friends are not obligated to help each other first and even in the case of a good friend, each gesture by the renderer should be unconditional. However, friends just happen to help each other due to the nature of the close relationship, if the obligation exists, that is definitely not friendship.


Self-discipline & Sacrifice


“See what others do not see, do what others do not do, sacrifice will no longer be a sacrifice.”


I thought that this line is very relevant in everybody’s life and something that I firmly subscribe to.There are many times people around me would complain how doing of their homework and the lesson schedule would prevent them from having fun with their buddies or their girlfriends/ boyfriends; Or when working and helping people to complete a tedious task is wasting or sacrificing their time. But the way I see it is just a matter of perception, there are always more than one way to see and respond to a situation; and staying positive is a very good way indeed.


Back to topic, today is my final lesson of pearls with Richard for this semester and the topic is charging. One of the reasons I think this name is very apt is because we had already set our vision and short term goals previously; and that there is simply no reason to stay put now. Attendance was not very good for this session as majority of the participants had finance test during the weekend and they were busy mugging, I thought this is good in a way as Richard could give us more attention.


We started this lesson with a video clip of some people playing checkers. Player one made several sacrifices to allow one of his piece to reach one end of the board, by then that was his only piece left. How the most amazing thing happened next, with that special piece, he annihilated all his opponent pieces. I will upload the video on a later date but this video clearly showed the essence of planning in advance & making sacrifices.


Therefore, after planning our life strategically, it is now time to commit to this plan by maintaining self- discipline (through “sacrifices”). Richard touched on time management first and shared with us about Stephen Covey task management quadrants. By allocating tasks correctly into correct quadrant will allow us to make better decision about daily tasks and helps to relieve undue stress on us; This also helps us to downsize our challenges in life so that they can be conquered more easily.


The next thing Richard taught us about was to maintain positive leverage so that we can get the most out of daily situations and allow us to achieve our goals; that are especially true in the corporate world as people for perceptions about you swiftly and are not very forgiving. However, to get this leverage, it is important to be well read, well travelled & well prepared (I think). The lesson is very interesting as we could ask him a lot of questions and he shared his corporate experience with us. He also made us a special offer to help us analyse and give us some guidance provided we did our home work for this course and feed him with information on our abilities, goals and plans- I think it would be a good thing having Richard as a mentor as he is very helpful and sincere. With that we concluded the 2nd module of pearls- Personal Mastery.   


Back from the hiatus

Finally completed my managerial accounting test which I had been studying for the last few days, the result seems quite promising. And that I will blog on stuff that I had missed out for the last one week in my life. 

PEARLS M2S4 040308. Personal mastery IV Today session touches on visioning and it consist of personal SWOT analysis, setting your goals & creating an action plan for it( very MPish but interesting). 


Firstly, I did my personal SWOT whose data was heavily derived from the PEA which I had done 3 weeks ago. It basically consists of my personal strengths, weaknesses, opportunities & threats relative to others. Upon analysing the details, I could put it to good use for my goal settings. 

Goal setting was next, I managed to come up with my short term goals(within 1 year) which are to do well for my studies & work on real estate & POEMS, I was motivated by the short terms goal I am aiming despite the packed schedule. My mid term goals(1-3 years) are mainly graduating from RMIT with a degree with distinction in biz mgmt, managing my team in real estate & making consistent profits from POEMS. My long term goals(3-5 years) consists of diversification of my capital from the property sector & achieving my first million.   

Arranging my priorities in the 6 areas of my life is my subsequent task, namely: family & home, spiritual & ethical, social & cultural, financial & career, physical & health and mental & educational.

-Family & home is mainly about the time and life I am going to spend with my family & the environment which I would want to live in the future.

-Spiritual & ethical is about my role in the christian community  & raising a catholic family.

-Social & cultural is about the bonds which I would want to form with my true friends and the life I would want to live travelling & tasting various delicacies.

-Financial & career is about the development in my real estate & trader career.-Physical & health would be how I go about keeping myself fit & my diet light & simple

-Mental & educational would be to sustain my avid reading habits & pursue my CFA and mentoring people. 

Then, I had to make them Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic and Time-bound before plotting out my action plan.  

Last but not least, control & evaluation would include identifying the skills I need to accquire to achive my goals & the contingencies I have to adopt in unfavourable macro factors in the economy. 


I managed to come up with a pretty neat chart which would keep my disciplined and focused towards my goals if I review it daily!